"Why are you washing the car in the first place? Bathing it will not increase its life expectancy or decrease the chances of a breakdown. All it does really is demonstrate to others that you have a tiny mind and an empty life. Quite."
This was a riot! Of course, I can't bill for it, but hooee! I actually loved the article better than the comments, but this was pretty good: "I can imagine George Clooney washing a car. I can imagine him washing my car..." Priceless!!