In Which I Cannot Think Of An Interesting Title...

Apparently, H2 heard me ask my Mom to bring her steam cleaner by yesterday evening. I know this, because he felt free to poop all over the floor in his room at some point during the night. Thanks for that, kid.

In other news, I'm in love with this lemonade I discovered in some hippie e-book I downloaded. We'll call it Hippie Lemonade. And if you are like me (i.e., in some long ago, pagan time, you would have pledged yourself to the temple of some sugary beverage and served for many a year with sugary devotion), you will love it. And it has like, no calories. Ok, maybe a few from the lemon juice, but I'm going with the few enough in a single serving to count method of figuring. Me and the FDA.

Hippie Lemonade
2 lemons
water
stevia

Juice the two lemons (you want fresh, not the bottle stuff), and pour in a 2 qt container. Fill the rest of the container with water. Add stevia and enjoy (well, maybe stir it first...) For my stevia and my tastebuds, I use about 1/2 teaspoon. You'll need to experiment with your brand of stevia, probably.

Oh, Bother...

I'm not doing to well with my resolution, am I? If it makes you feel any better, my other resolution has gone to pot as well. Today was supposed to be my first time back to the gym in about 23 years. Alas, I stayed up too late with L watching the Millionaire Matchmaker last night, and the ensuing sleeping in threw my whole day off. Have seen her, by the way? She's so mean. It's like a train wreck I can't turn away from.

So, now I'm waiting for the nutjobs to finish their lunches, then we are off to WalMart, then to get my allergy shot (which I can no longer get between the hours of 11 and 1, and guess when I have always gone to get it...), then home for the little monster to nap whilst Hatchling and I finish school. We're a bit behind, having taken off Monday since Daddy was home and having taken off yesterday because Hatchling lost the ability to preform fundamental tasks, such as clean his room within the very strict 5 hour time limit. Never fear, though! Boy buckled down in my bathroom floor and did all three days worth of math while I got ready this morning, so we'll catch up on language arts (reading/writing for you non-homeschoolers) this afternoon. Our readings I don't worry about, since we are usually ahead on those anyway. My kids love to be read to! In fact, Hatchling will always choose to quit playing Wii a few minutes early if it means he gets bedtime stories (which are really just school masquerading as bedtime stories, bwa ha ha).

Welcome to January!

Greetings, Earthlings! How is 2010 shaping up for you so far? My personal resolution this year, besides losing weight (like any good American), is to blog more. I'm not off to a bang up start, I know, but I'm doing the best I can, OK?

Today, I shall tell you all about my favorite Christmas present. It's timely, considering it is insanely cold here, and the cold makes me want to curl up into a ball and die a frozen death. Dear God, why was I not born in Hawaii? Are mild southern winters to be the thorn in my flesh? But I digress...

My lovely sister, who lives in that most frozen state of Colorado, got me the bestest socks ever. Ever, people. I mean, if you don't have these socks, you just aren't living up to your full potential. So without further ado, here they are!


These are some sort of snowboarding socks, or some such silly sport in which I would most likely incur a mortal wound from which I would never recover. That's the thing with mortal wounds, you know- you just don't get better. But about my socks! They are from Smartwool, and they are insanely expensive. Like, over twenty bucks a pair. BUT, oh so worth it.

True confession: since opening my socks on Christmas Eve, I've been wearing them something like 5 days a week, with a day or two off for washing. Isn't that disgusting? I can't help it, I love them so much. They keep me warm all the way to my knobby little knees, and they bring me all kinds of joy. You should go order yourself a pair, so you can have the joy, too. I should order myself another pair so I can have even more joy. Let's all order socks today, as we sit inside and freeze our little tushies off! It's retail therapy at its finest, no?

I really should order H2 some, for when he sees his coat in my hands, he starts crying and screaming, "Scary!" Apparently, little Guatemalans feel like I do about the cold. Perhaps even a bit more vehemently. No playing in the snow for that kid!

We're Ba-ack!

We're back from a week at the happiest place on Earth. The place where your children will scream, cry, throw kicking tantrums in every imaginable public place, use abhorrent table manners, and in general, make you look like an awful parent. And as an added bonus- you get to pay out the nose for this treatment! But when you have these sweet vacation photos to look back on, you convince yourself it was all worth it!

Oh, I had so much fun with my Mom for a whole week. Even though she lives just a few minutes away, I don't get to see her nearly enough. I'm trying to get her to move into our spare room (I haven't told L that yet, but I'm certain he wouldn't mind). Thanks for putting up with us for a week, Mom!

On our way we down, we missed not one but TWO connections. So instead of getting to the parks by 2, we barely made our 5:40 dinner reservation at Chef Mickey's. We did make it though, which was good because it was the only character meal we had scheduled for the whole week.

H2 is not sure what to think...

Here we are in Animal Kingdom, in our matching Tilly hats. Aren't we cute? And can I just tell you, I could just eat L up when I watch him walk around all day in his Tilly hat. Between the hat and the dimple, I'm milk toast. Or at least, I think that's what I am- I'm not entirely sure what milk toast is. But I think it's what i am. And it's OK- we're married, so I can feel that way.

Ever wonder what trouble looks like?

Hatchling in his homemade poncho for Kali River Rapids. Once you've walked around for one afternoon in the Florida humidity, soaked to the skivvies, you'll think twice about doing it again.

The boys meet Pluto...

And Donald. See those backpacks? I got them for five bucks a piece, ironed on a little Disney patch, and wrote their names on them in fabric marker. Then, we had the characters sign them- instead of some cheesy autograph book that wouldn't last the month (boys are hard on things). Hatchling still has all the papers from his last autograph book, and likes to look at them, but I thought this was a little more fun (read: durable). It was a problem when Goofy got rained on whilst signing- the ink won't run after it dries, but it apparently will before it has time to dry. We got him to re-sign on a different day, and we're going to get Hatchling a second patch to cover up the goof(y).

I kid you not- I was close enough to hear, and Hatchling is whispering to Minnie that her dress is just beautiful. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Gigolo of the Year, 2022...

We also went to Playhouse Disney Live at Hollywood Studios. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is H2's 2nd favorite thing in the world (#1 being Thomas the Tank Engine, #3 being his family). Seeing all his favorite characters in the flesh (so to speak) was more than he could take in. He sat with his little mouth hanging open the entire time, and leaving the show induced a rather astonishing fit, even for the Angry Guatemalan. He would not be soothed. He wanted Mouse (I feel sure he would have said he wanted Mouse, dammit, if only he had the expansive vocabulary to do so. I wonder- if I teach my children to swear, will they be less likely to have breakdowns, or will they just have more colorful breakdowns? Kidding!).


My absolute favorite part of the week was the Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party. In case you don't know, this is where the Magic Kingdom closes down unless you have a special (read: extra cost) ticket that allows you to be there. Kids (and grown ups) are encouraged to dress up, there is a special parade and fireworks, and you get to trick or treat all over the park. As an added bonus, the park is pretty empty, so you can ride all the rides you want with virtually no lines. Also, it's cool, which was a rare experience during our sweltering, sweaty week.

We had with us a strikingly handsome Woody...


And this cute little LGM (he was a huge hit on the Buzz Lightyear ride).


Cute little buggers, aren't they?

I can't say enough about MNSSHP- if you ever have a chance, GO! I loved the parade. Somehow, L managed to not get pics of my two favorite parts of the parade, both from the Haunted Mansion part (I might fire him, if not for that Tilly hat). I loved the Haunted Mansion dancers and also the Grave Diggers, who occasionally scraped their shovels on the ground and made sparks. It was way cool, and the fact that it rained right till the start of the parade and was a little foggy only made it cooler. You can see last year's parade here- the Haunted Mansion sequence starts about 4:20



I even had to buy this , so the kids and I could have some great Halloween music to listen too.

Here, a Sea Serpent sneaks up on H2. They're both too cute for words, no?

Slush's favorite- MNSSHP
Slush's Mom's favorite- MNSSHP
Hatchling's favorite- Rides without any darkness
H2's favorite- I'm guessing Playhouse Disney
L's favorite- two evenings spent alone with me, walking around parks and doing nothing but enjoying one anther's company (This answer was given with no pause for thought and total sincerity- now, don't I feel bad about my answer!)

Hello, September!

Did you know that September is my favorite month? And September 15th, it's my favorite day of the year. This is because it's smack dab in the middle of my favorite month. I like the symmetry. Symmetry soothes me. Asymmetry makes me feel cranky and crabby and alone in a vast wilderness. Also, L proposed to me on my favorite day in my favorite month, and he didn't even know about the lovefest I had with September. I quickly told him (and I said yes), and he thanked his lucky stars. Or, so I choose to believe.

I've been busy lately. Would you believe that I only downloaded (uploaded?) our pictures from Colorado yesterday? I have had something of a procrastination bug lately. Really, for the past 35 years or so, but who's counting? I'd show you some, but we took our smaller camera, and I just don't like the quality enough to post them. We will definitely be taking the Nikon to Disney World, and we leave a week from today. L, the boys, myself AND my Mom!!! Yippee skippy doo! I love the World. And I love packing. I think I have a sickness. Speaking of which, have you guys seen that PBS show Windsor Castle, A Royal Year? My favorite part is where the maids are packing for the Queen and they individually wrap all her clothes in fresh tissue paper, so it won't wrinkle. It is utterly awesome, and I'd really like to spend some time with those maids.

Other things I've been doing lately include canning copious amounts of tomatoes. I made a years worth of pizza sauce, and for days the house smelled very much like an Italian restaurant. I also made tomato sauce and Italian flavored diced tomatoes. I would like to make some more diced tomatoes, but alas, my little tomato man has run out of tomatoes. Can you imagine? I also canned salsa, peach salsa, peach jam, peach butter, and chicken stock. I am a domestic goddess. In the meantime, my stove is giving up the ghost. After spending hundreds of dollars to fix the self-cleaning oven (which, by the way, wasn't remotely fixed), my warming drawer, warming zone and favorite burner have broken. So a new range is on the horizon. Obviously, I've been trying to talk L into a Lacanche, but alas, I've been unsuccessful. The other day, I was telling him about my dream if we were to stay in this house, which is to knock out the dining room and extend the kitchen. I would double the refrigerator size to one of those ginormous commercial ones, double the pantry, build a giant appliance pantry where all my toys could live (and work plugged in without necessarily having to travel to some countertop somewhere) and, naturally, have a 6 burner Lacanche or La Cornue stove with a majorly powerful hood that was (gasp) actually vented to the outside. He laughed and rolled his eyes a little, but hey, it's my dream, and I can stock it with a 25k stove if I want to. So there. That's the great thing about dreams, no?

H1 started official homeschool kindergarten a few weeks ago. We've been going a little slow to start with, so that Hatchling and Mommy can both ease into things. So far, so good. We signed up for our local homeschool co-op on Thursday, where H1 will be taking some kindergarten thing, Spanish 1, Storytime Crafts (where H2 and I will be helpers), and Historical Heroes. Hatchling is very excited, and his new (to us) Buzz Lightyear backpack with attachable lunch box is the highlight of his recent life. You know, until we go to Disney World and he gets his light saber, which he's been saving for all summer. H1 has assured me that although school is not always fun, he never ever never wants to go to one of those "desk schools." I have no idea where he came up with this name, but that's what he calls them. While we do school, H2 alternates between watching Mouse (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) and coloring and jabbering as if he is answering questions. And they both have to have a sticker at the end of school each day, or else. H1 likes math, but he doesn't like reading (he's doing really well, but concentration isn't so much his forte) and he hates writing (though he's made HUGE strides already, so I'm thinking this is going to get better for him soon). So there's our school update. And now I must leave you and do other things.

What I did this summer...

Gracious, summer is kicking me in the rear!

The family of Slush loaded up in the car a couple of weeks ago and headed to that dreaded state of Colorado to see my squirrely little sister and her family. 12 hours, my friends. You know you really and truly love your family when you willingly spend 12 hours at a time in a small car with my boys. I've decided to tell you about my vacation in the form of letters. There are no pictures to accompany them because I've been suffering from jet lag from the 1 hour time change for the last week, and I haven't managed to budge the camera from it's spot on L's desk. It may be something other than jet lag. I'm sticking with jet lag though, even though we didn't actually fly. I'm zany that way. Jet lag. Just had to get that in one more time in this paragraph...

Dear Boulder,



Your farmer's market had me at hello. Oh the produce! The leafy greens, the raw cheeses, the fresh breads and even the kombucha! And the smells! Oh delicious, smells! You made me weak in the knees, and I was loathe to leave you. Do you think you could give L a job at your Google office so I could be one with you, for always? Pretty please?



Lovelorn back in Arkansas, Slush





Dear Cherry Creek Mall,



I knew as I passed the valet parking on my way to the solid granite changing table that this was not the mall for me. This was only solidified by the La Cornue stove in your Williams Sonoma. L is so lucky that the smallest one is too large for my 30" stove opening. Looking at you and caressing your beautiful surface made me feel a little like I was cheating on my husband. Only he was right there watching, so I guess that made me something of a swinger? It's all too convoluted to understand. I love you, but it's just not going to work out between us. Could you please tell the puppy mill store that I will miss them too? I love all those wiggly balls of fur, and I don't care where they came from. And if I had an extra $600 after I purchased my stove, I'd take one home.


Longingly, Slush




Dear King Soopers,


Why isn't it Super, or Supers? I'm really disturbed by your spelling choices, so please enlighten me. The spelling is the only thing I found wrong with your store. Oh, the incredible offerings you offer! Kombucha, Mexican Coke by the bottle, organic everything you could imagine, plus all the stuff a regular grocery store has to offer too! My brother in law mocked me when I said you were my favorite part of the trip, but I miss you King. Can I call you King? I feel like we're old friends, separated by a cruel twist of fate. My sister doesn't appreciate you. She doesn't love you like I do. Come to Arkansas, please? I promise we'll be best friends, forever and ever.



Crying about my available grocery choices,
Slush




Dear Kansas,



You are windswept and boring. There is a certain prettiness to you, and I love trying to guess what all those crops are and to pretend that the dry, scraggly ones are the GM crops, and the lush bountiful ones are organic. But frankly, that's only entertaining for a few hours at best. Do you think you could get more interesting? The windmills help, but you've still got a ways to go.



Bored by you,
Slush