I went out of town this week to present at a STEM conference, leaving L and the boys home alone and under the excellent care of our dog, Kona. You would think if there were trouble, it would be from the ten year old or eight year old, right? Right? Not so much, as it turns out.
After returning to my hotel one night, I called L to see how things were going. He didn't answer. I thought, "poor baby! It's only 10:30 and the children have so exhausted him that he's collapsed in bed for the night!" I only wish.
He called back in a few minutes to tell me his tale. Are you ready? Warning: I wish he had never, ever, never told me this!
After letting Kona out for her 10 o' clock pee, he couldn't get her to come back in. In fact, he couldn't even see her. Now, we just moved and have a much bigger yard than she previously reigned over, with a small patch of woods at the back of our property. It was raining, and L went looking for our wayward dog. Side note: L swears he wants submissive and sweet women in his life. But he married me, and he picked out Kona. Methinks he doth protest too much.
Upon finding our little dog, he beheld that she had something in her mouth. He thinks it was brain or organ tissue. Ewwwww. After making her give it to him, he had to decide what to do with it.
Let's all take a moment to think about what we would have done in the same situation. Got it in your mind? Then we shall return to our tale.
Worried that if he put it in the trash it would stink, he PUT.IT.DOWN,THE.GARBAGE.DISPOSAL. In my kitchen. Where I cook things that don't usually contain raccoon rabies. Can you feel my horror? I mean, come on. The kitchen is not where you get rid of your dog's fresh kill. It's just not.
Needless to say, I was/am mad, horrified, germaphobic, and pretty sure I should start rabies shots prophylacticly. Oh, and it stinks. Like dead stuff. I tried putting Drano down it, and it did help the smell, but when I tried to move the rubber thing out of the way and look down there, I saw something like looks like a squid. Or a chihuahua. L thinks it is skin. Skin that won't be chopped and that will live there forever.
We're buying a new garbage disposal tomorrow. The end.
She doesn't look like a killer, but...