• This is a religion founded by a man who was previously a SCIENCE FICTION AUTHOR
• Scientology didn't exist until 1953
• This is a religion which used to advertise its manifesto on USA network. Remember? "Dianetics, by L. Ron Hubbard..."
• L. Ron was down with Aleister Crowley
• Hollywood loves it

HOLLYWOOD LOVES IT. That should be the slogan for the anti- scientology campaign right there! And did you catch the most frightening thing of all? ALEISTER CROWLEY. Hmmmm... can you say Satanist in your best church- lady voice. Let's all run screaming for the hills! Satan has taken over Hollywood! Oh wait, that's not news, is it?

Don't you think Satan's been laughing maniacally while watching Tom Cruise be molded and crafted by the Scientology crackpots into the minion he will send to the masses? And now poor Katie is in his clutches! Poor, poor little Katie. She just wanted to grow up and marry Maverick! Who didn't?

Maybe we could orchestrate some sort of escape for her. If we could just get her to sit down and watch the movie 'Legend,' I am sure the spell would be broken and she would leave Tom and his pearly veneers of her own accord. Here's hoping...