" Hatchling, put that shampoo bottle down right now."

"Gasp- I meant gently!"

"OK, you can chew on the salad bag, but please don't throw it out of the cart like you did the tomatoes."

"Which kind of sippy cup do you want?" (large crashing sound) "OK, not that one. How about this one?" (another large crash)

"Don't chew on that! It's pesticide! Bad, poison!"

"You have to stay strapped in! Don't you remember what happened at Hobby Lobby?"

To Cashier: "Hi, I have no intention of buying this freakishly squishy soccer ball pillow. I just gave it to my son so he would shut up, er, I mean, stop fussing. Can you put it back on the shelf for me?"

"Hatchling, where are your shoes?"

"Someone should really do something about their car alarm. Wasn't it going off when were walking in?"

"Hatchling, why do you have Mommy's keys? Why are smiling? Gasp- is that my car alarm?!"