A brief sketch of mine and Hatchling's day, or rather, half- day, God help me.

730- large crash echoes from baby's room. Head meeting crib bars? Most likely, as followed immediately by loud wail. Insert bottle in child's mouth. All is well.

815- child begins making baby sign for 'hungry'. Mother ignores this, as baby just ate. Baby becomes more insistent, goes to barricaded door of kitchen and makes sign again. Mother feeds baby. All is well.

830- child begins to make baby sign for 'more'. Seriously, more? Yes mommy, more. Mother gives child more. Anything for a little peace.

1030- child screams, child crys, child is hungry. Mommy feeds child lunch, gives child bottle, child says 'more'. Please, help me feed this child.

1100- Aunt Brookie comes to visit, places keys on entry table. Child takes keys. Aunt B. takes keys away from child. Child takes keys. Mommy takes keys. Child takes Mommy's full glass of coke from coaster, throws it to ground. Child then sits in liquid and splashes, laughing evilly.

1101- Mommy takes screaming child to his room, where he can bang head on crib bars as much as he likes. Mommy has no sympathy.

1200- Mommy mops hardwood.122- Mommy mops hardwood again, as it is still sticky. Child in big trouble.