July 18, 2005
Harry Potter, Freaks, and Digressions
As anyone who knows me probably expected, I was out with the freaks** at midnight on Friday, waiting to get my reserved copy of the new Harry Potter book.

I must say, this purchase went better than the last one. Last time a H.P. book came out, the line at Hastings for pre- purchasers such as myself was hours long, and for the schmoes who didn't care enough to reserve it, the wait was only about 20 minutes. WHAT? my mind screamed in rebellion as several vessels actually burst inside my brain. How could they possibly reward such unworthy fan behavior? I was aghast.

This time, however, the reserved line was only about 20 minutes long, though my friend, a shmoette who didn't pre- reserve, got her book several minutes before me. Blast! If only I weren't so scared that I wouldn't get a book if I didn't reserve one, I would be through these lines so much more quickly! Alas, I am a control freak, and that's just not going to happen. I have to KNOW. But I digress...

After staying up WAY past my bedtime to get a bit of reading in when I got home, I had to get up and go see the in- laws. It was a long day. Not because I dislike my in- laws, I like them very much, but because I needed to be home, curled in my chair, reading the book I have been waiting a VERY LONG TIME for.

Do you see that J.K.? I can call you J.K. can't I? Yes, well, please try to churn the next one out a little more quickly, OK? I know, you are trying to drag this thing out for as long as you can, but come on! You now have more money than all the gold in Gringotts, and we are dying out here. We NEED to know what happens. Try not to take another 2 years, OK?

I'm now finished with the book, but I realized at about page 3 that I should have spent the last week re- reading the other 5 books (which I intended to do, but I got caught up in bears). I struggled through though, and now intend to go back and read the others, and then re- read the new one. It makes me feel like I'm getting my $17.99 out of them...

**A note about freaks...I feel I should say, not all of those waiting at midnight were freaks. Some, like myself, were just excited fans. Others were a bit, shall we say, out there. Here I am speaking to those of you are over 50 and
  1. own (and/or wear) a costume of one or more H.P. characters
  2. own any other article of clothing made from fabric featuring Harry or one of the gang
  3. sport red, Halloween- like streaks in your hair for book release parties
  4. use glitter in place of any cosmetic product

Please, for the sake of us all, accept your age and enjoy things in a more reserved manner.

Also, for those of you who drag your toddlers out at midnight and dress them in funny hats and give them wands to sling around and potentially poke their eyes out with, LEAVE THEM AT HOME. They don't care. They don't know H.P.! They should be in bed!!! Otherwise, next time I will personally insure that the "World's Worst Parenting" contest coincides with the H.P. book release (which might not be a bad idea anyway, when you consider all the pre- teeners running around with their belly shirts sporting phrases like 'eye candy', 'sweet 'n slutty', and 'I make out with wizards'. OK, I made those last two up, but SERIOUSLY, they probably exist or soon will. Do you people not look at your children before they leave the house with guys named Dragon who, I assure you, are not committed to the idea waiting until after marriage, regardless of what they told you?).

Wow, this post has really gotten away from me.... I think I should stop writing before I stray to gas prices, hydrogen cars, and how stupid Americans are if they think our gas prices are really high....