October 25, 2005
Happy Tuesday, The World Is Ending...
This is from our friends over at Fox News... Read and discuss amongst yourselves. I'm off to get a haircut which will make me stunning (so I'll be gone a LONG time...).

Ashlee Simpson No. 1: Evidence of World Ending
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
By Roger Friedman

Nostradamus is guesting on “TRL” this week.

Ashlee Simpson, the terminally untalented and annoying sister of pop star Jessica Simpson, has the No. 1 album this week with the aptly titled, “I Am Me.”

Simpson, famous for lip-synching on "Saturday Night Live," is outselling multiple Grammy-winner and legend Stevie Wonder two-to-one, despite positive reviews for his new album, “A Time 2 Love.”

This is proof, I feel, that the Earth is about to experience some terrible event worse than the Indonesian tsunami, Hurricane Katrina or the Kashmir earthquake.

Between Simpson and Wonder are Martina McBride, Nickelback, the Black Eyed Peas and Rod Stewart. Simpson sold about 150,000 copies of her wretched excuse of a recording in its debut week despite countless government warnings and threats from alien spaceships.

Wonder looks like he’ll do around 75,000 copies, although the numbers aren’t solid yet.

Ashlee’s contribution to the culture includes these lyrics: “All that s—- about me, Being with him, Can't believe, All the lies that you told” (from "Boyfriend").

Is there a God? This is a question we now must ask ourselves. Hopefully, he/she is on the Grammy committee, and all the artists below Ashlee on the chart will be avenged come February.
Anonymous sara said...
All I can do is gasp and sqwak and gaffaw at the hilarity of this article!!! I just heard an ashlee simpson song this weekend and thought "what a wretched noise". THIS IS FU-HU-NNY!!!
Are you moved in to your house yet?

Anonymous sara said...
oops...I didn't see your previous post about, um, moving in. tee hee

Blogger Amber said...
Oh dear...

Blogger lawyerchik said...
VERY funny!! :) Isn't it frightening what passes for talent these days?