October 17, 2005
An Open Letter to Mr. Dyson
Dear Mr. Dyson,

My husband went out and bought me one of your pricey, artistically beautiful vacuum cleaners this weekend. I have been taken with them ever since you and your sexy accent started doing commercials for them some time ago. It's true, I'm a slave to marketing. And you are the Apple of vacuums.

Since our new house has lots more carpet than our current one, it seemed like a wise investment. Our old (i.e., ugly and not purple with orange accents) vacuum cleaner always has parts falling off and it is really louder than I would presume a vacuum cleaner could be. I would be wrong in this presumption, as I am in so many others.

Your vacuum cleaner is a dream. It sucks- and I mean that as a compliment. I love the 17 foot extension thingy that allows me to vacuum the entire stairway with the base sitting handily at the bottom of the stairs. I love the pretty colors. I love the long, long, long cord. And what I love the most about it is how QUIET it is. Seriously, you can vacuum and have a conversation with someone at the same time, if you are so inclined.

Fabulous product, Mr. Dyson. You probably figured that out about the time you became a bazillionaire, but I thought I would tell you just the same. Thanks for not stopping at proto- type number 4,999.

What do you think you could do for showers? I'm thinking there must be a better way, and you are just the man to come up with a little shower- bot to get all that icky mold and soap scum so I don't have to get down on my hands and knees every week. Let me know what you think.

Blogger R said...
Seriously, you could support an entire village in Ethiopia for what one of those things cost. Still..you make me want to crack the wallet open. Sounds like heaven on a stick.

Blogger Morris said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger eeore said...
I hate to tell you this, but the reality is that Dyson vaccuum cleaners are a triumph of marketing.

For one thing they are made of a really brittle plastic that splinters easily and ends up with pinhole cracks that blow the dust as fast as it sucks it up.

The best example I can give.... is that I had a job selling a fancy top of the range vaccuum. And I went to one house, where the daughter suffered really bad asthema and therefore the mother was vaccuuming two or three times a day.

As part of the demo, I would catch whatever came up out of the carpet on a piece of paper.

Let's just say that I pulled guinea pig dropping from a guinea pig that had dies two years before, and broken glass from a racous Christmas party five years before.

But i guess if you are happy watching the fluff whirl around the cyclone then that is all well and good.

After all.... what the eye don't see, the heart don't grieve for.

Blogger Neal said...
Now I'm jealous - we clean up after a two year old with the equivalent of a rake and a garden hose.

Do you mind lending it to me for a week (or until our oldest stops throwing cheerios all over the place)?

Blogger Carbon said...
Oooooh, you lucky spoiled girl you :)

Anonymous Lizzie said...
I love my Dyson...yay for us!

Blogger drama mama said...
I'm jealous! I've had one bad vaccum after another! And I really can't affore Eeyore's pricey model. Or the Dyson for that matter. Crap.

Blogger lawyerchik said...
It's good to hear from someone who actually owns one of those things. I, too, was tempted by the accent, but I wondered about the quality of the product!! :) Enjoy!