March 17, 2006
I think we sold our lot.

There is no contract yet, but L talked to the guy today and he said that, even though we scoffed at his first offer (which was about $15,000 less than our asking price), his wife wants it. They are going away for the weekend and will contact us next week.

I have really mixed feelings about it. I mean, I know that we put it in God's hands, and obviously I will be happy with whatever His will for our lives is, but I just don't feel comfortable. Does that make sense? And is my discomfort because I am a selfish wretch who wants to move, or is it because I feel like even if we aren't supposed to build there, maybe we aren't supposed to stay here either?

It doesn't help that I have been reading Money, Possessions and Eternity by Randy Alcorn. If you want to have your world rocked, I suggest you read it. I think it is fabulous, but also bruising. It makes it clear that Christians in the United States are not doing their duty as clearly outlined in scripture. It makes me want to move to a smaller house and be able to give more money to our local church and to world missions.

In a way, I am embarrassed that I have so much. It's true. I don't even want a lot of my family members to come and see this house. Shouldn't I be proud of what we have accomplished and that we are able to afford to live here? I am, in a way. But on the other hand, I know it isn't fair that I have so much when others have so little.

L doesn't feel this conviction at all. He thinks we have worked hard (and when I say 'we', pretty much I mean 'he') and that we deserve to live in a nice place. He thinks that if I am so convicted, I could go back to work and give my yearly salary away. Or that we could move into a 1500 square foot house and really be able to support missions.

I feel like there has to be a happy middle ground here somewhere. I promised L that if the lot sold, I would suck it up and be happy. That is, of course, easier said than done.

Could you guys pray that a) God will really speak to us BOTH about what His plans are for us, and b) that if we are supposed to stay here, God will grant me a peace about it?
Blogger lawyerchik said...
Absolutely! It's hard to see the fairness in what we waste versus what those in other countries need, but at the same time, God blesses each of us differently. I look at passages in the Old Testament in which God's people had abundance and no guilt, and I wonder how to achieve that balance of thankfulness for His provision without losing sight of the needs of others.