Today, I told my sister that I didn't want to continue to watch my 7-month old niece while she is at work. While I love the little bugger like crazy, I just have too much going on right now. With the upcoming move, getting a home study done for the adoption, and just the stress of the adoption by itself, I'm all maxed out.
Hatchling by himself is a lot to keep up with. I know I will have two soon enough, but it's different when they are your own. Someone made the comment the other day that I am really 'pregnant', in that it will be about 9 months from now that we have our baby (hopefully!). I was thinking about that, and I know that if I were really physically pregnant, I would want to savor the time before the baby comes along and Hatchling doesn't get as much attention from Mommy. With another baby already in the house, I can't do that.
I wish I didn't feel so guilty or like such a crappy sister/aunt. It's probably because my reasons are all about me, and not about my poor sister, who isn't able to stay at home, and has to leave her child in the care of another person. She felt better knowing I was that person. I'm selfish and I suck. I might as well be fat too, so I'm going to go reward my poor behaviour with a Coke.