August 11, 2006
Everything I Need to Know I Learned From TV, Volume I
In Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, we learn important life lessons such as:
  • One need merely go to town when in search of a spouse. Flour, tobacco, and wives are easy to come by at the General Store.
  • Women will always get their way. It's because we're better cooks.
  • He who balances on the springy board gets the girl.
  • Don't fight in the house. It just might fall down.
  • Old quilts make lovely patchwork skirts.
  • One woman is pretty much like the next. Presumably one man is pretty much like the next, too.
  • Sorrel makes a mighty nourishing soup.
  • A man can't make no vows to a herd of cows, nor can he shoot the breeze with a bunch of trees.
  • When in doubt, do what the Romans did.
  • Sobbin' and fit to be tied is an appropriate state for a bride to be in.
  • When in a group of 4 or more people, it is expected that one break into song.
  • And dance.
  • If you really want a snowball to have some punch, put rocks in it.
  • Women stand in around sexy corsets and talk about men.
  • And then we wrestle.
  • There are no good male names that start with an "F" in the Bible.
  • You should never, ever name your son Frankincense.
  • In some places, it snows until June.
  • If you are supposed to be taking a nap, and you want to get out of bed and play, you should probably not stand at the top of the stairs turning the light on and off. Mommy can see that from her recliner, where she happens to be blogging (ok, this isn't really a lesson from the movie, but one Hatchling learned while Mommy was watching the movie).
  • The only thing more romantic than a shotgun wedding is a shotgun wedding times six.
Blogger lawyerchik said...
And don't forget the best part (when the show goes to TV): Richard Dean Anderson!! :)