October 26, 2007
Dear Nick Jr and the creator(s) of Max and Ruby,
I'd really like to say thanks.

As a mother, I take seriously my responsibility to to keep a close eye on what my children are exposed to via the television. I try to do a good job. I really do. However, there are some mornings when a wonderfully exuberant three-year-old jumps up on my bed after what seems like only seconds since I went to sleep, and as soon as he gets a sleepy grunt of response, he starts bouncing around and talking so fast that I feel like he is stuck in fast-forward mode, and frankly I would do anything if he would just shut up and let me go back to sleep. But my job is to care for him, so darned if I don't stagger out of bed, manage to land some cold breakfast food onto a plate and some milk into a glass, and turn the TV on for him so I can guzzle some sweet caffeine and take a shower before I have to answer why there are holes in cheerios and where girls go pee pee from since they don't have "peanuts" and am I sure I didn't just break mine off and I don't remember it?

On one recent morning when I was feeling particularly bad, I turned the TV on Nickelodean and saw a show that featured two cute and fuzzy bunnies. I felt that I was safe in leaving my child to guzzle his milk and eat his apple bread with said entertainment on, and off I went to see if Calgon could live up to its promise (it doesn't).

What I didn't expect was for my three-year-old to start acting like your ill-behaved three-year-old bunny. Suddenly he screams "pie!" and launches his blanket at me. He sneaks into the pantry and eats things he knows I wouldn't let him have. He yells one word over and over and over and over again until I want to punch him in the face (but I don't). He's sneaky. He plays tricks he never knew before. I could go on. So thanks for that, really. I don't really know to how to convey the joy this makes me feel.

And just so you know, when my three-year-old asks where Max and Ruby are now, I tell him they are dead. They were playing in the yard when the lawn mowing man came and they didn't run fast enough from the path of the big and scary lawn mower. Probably if Max had eaten the healthy food and not junk, he could have made it away. And Ruby wouldn't leave her little brother, because she was a pretty good big sister. How sad.

Sincerely,
A tired and irritated parent
4 Comments:
Blogger cjoy said...
Ah yes. Good ole Max & Ruby. We have watched exactly 1/2 an episode of this about three years ago. Never again. Max was such a bad tempered creature, demanding his eggs in one word repeatedly until HE GOT HIS WAY that I refused to turn it on again. NONparents must be the creators of these things. Insanity, I tell you. Insanity.

Blogger AfricaBleu said...
Heh, heh, Cuz. You crack me up.

Just wait until you see the behavior of the kids from HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL...

Blogger Jill said...
NOW I know where Rachel is getting her one word demands from! Max and "Ruvy" is her new favorite show and it seemed harmless enough, but I didn't realize until you said it about the one word deal that it's all because of that blasted Max. I think she's watched her last episode.

Blogger lawyerchik said...
That was funny! "I tell him they are dead. They were playing in the yard when the lawn mowing man came and they didn't run fast enough from the path of the big and scary lawn mower."

I love it!!