This morning I threw a bowl of cheerios on the table, turned on Little Einsteins, and left Hatchling on his own while I went to brush my teeth and get dressed for the gym.
A few minutes later, as I was wandering around the house looking for something or other, Hatchling informed me that "Daddy's TV was dirty, and I needed to clean it." Now I don't know about your kids, but mine can't seem to help touching the screen with sticky, gooey fingers- so I wasn't too concerned. And then I spotted the TV. There were blue circles and curlicues all over the thing.
My initial response was to send Hatchling to the corner, while muttering that I was pretty sure his daddy was going to kill him. He stood in the corner and wailed that he didn't want to be killed whilst I tried out glass cleaner (didn't work) and the glass wipes we get at the car wash (also didn't work). Then I called L with the news. We both felt like crying. Did I mention we just got our TV a month ago? Yeah.
I turned to google, and after some searching was able to find a post from some cat who claimed to work for a high end electronics store. Apparently mine isn't the first child to do this (this is only mildly reassuring). He recommended using warmed peanut oil to clean the screen. After another consultation with L (in which we discussed chemistry and why we thought this might work), I went to work. For anyone who has landed at this post via a web search of "how to clean Crayola off of your LCD TV," here's what I did:
Warm some peanut oil in a bowl (I put some in the microwave for about 45 seconds). Take a soft cloth (I used old cotton dish cloths), dip in oil, and gently rub on TV screen (TV should be off!). After you can see that the crayon marks are gone, clean screen with some sort of glass cleaner and those microfiber glass cloths you get with glasses. Be sure not to spray any cleaner directly onto the screen, put it on the cloth and then clean the screen. Also you are not supposed to rub hard, it can damage something, so be careful.
After this episode, I made Hatchling throw his crayons in the trash- he can't have any more until he's 10 or so. Then I put a pull- up on him and we headed to the gym. I'm happy to say that I have finally learned an important lesson- trouble follows trouble. While he normally wears big boy underwear without incident, I had a feeling today was going to be a trial to my already shaky sanity, and sure enough, Hatchling pooped in his pants THREE times while at the gym. We had to leave with him stinky because we were out of pull ups in his bag, and here's the pretend phone call he had on the way to get my allergy shot that nearly had me running off the road because I was trying not to let him see me laugh:
"Hello, Santy Claus? Yes, this is Hatchling. I've been pretty bad today Santy. I was playing school with all my [imaginary] friends, and I colored all over Daddy's TV. Mommy cleaned it up, but Daddy's gonna spank me when he gets home, and he might kill me. Mommy says so. Then I pooped in my pants at the gym. I sure am stinky. Now we gotta go get Mommy a shot and everyone is gonna smell my poop and think I'm yucky Santy Claus. I've been pretty bad today, but I sure want that bird workshop* Santy Claus. Ok? Bye bye!"
Goodness, it's hard to stay mad at that boy...
*It wasn't nearly that expensive at Sam's.
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