May 28, 2008
Hatchlingisms
Yesterday the boys and I went to the chiropractor to fix my shoulder that got hurt when the trunk slammed on my head... I begin to believe I may be seriously gifted. Alas, not in a good way. But I digress... As I was face down on the table, Hatchling began pulling things out of my purse (meanwhile H2 ran around the office like a crazy baby, pulling leaves off of plants, throwing the toy he stole from the waiting room, and laughing manically- needless to say, they're always happy to see us coming). After a few moments, Hatchling asks "What's this green thing Mommy? Is it a cheese stick? Can I have a cheese stick? Please Mommy? I'm really hungry! Why won't you share with meeeeee (this last part was wailed) ?"

It was a tampon.

The chiropractor laughed until he nearly cried.

When Hatchling's turn came up, he informed the chiropractor that he had a toilet flush and a crack-o-tick in his back, and he needed to get them out. The good doctor was more than willing, and even found an extra crack-o-tick in his ear. Today, Hatchling shared with me that the has some more crack-o-ticks and two toilet flushes in his back. And his shoulder is hurt too. Can we go back to the chiropractor? I have no idea why he would have toilet flushes in his back, nor do I know what a crack-o-tick is. My vocabulary is obviously lacking.

*********

After we went to the gym this morning (where Hatchling informed me that the did hit someone, but he didn't have an accident, slap, kick, bite, or scratch anyone) we headed to WalMart. As we passed a woman with several kids hanging off of her cart, a little boy about Hatchling's age pointed and said loudly "That's Hatchling, Momma! He's MEAN!"

I responded appropriately by bursting into laughter and pushing on to the next aisle. Hatchling was clearly upset by this, and assured me that he had never hurt that kid. I told him that said kid had probably seen him hurt someone else, and that I felt such castigation was more than fitting in his case. He cried.

When checkout time came, guess who we were behind? My poor baby. We're going to have to move out of state and give him a fresh start if he doesn't stop beating people. Or maybe we could send him to military school. Nah... I'd miss this little face...


6 Comments:
Blogger TNKerry said...
OMG - hilarious!!! You are very brave to even attempt bringing your little ones to any office. That is why I can't ever get sick or hurt....I can't imagine what I'd do with my crew in a nice place. The place and the people inside would never be the same.

Blogger cjoy said...
Oh, I feel your pain of taking the little people we love so much into public places. I've been to many such visits...indeed, today at the library we stepped out the main doors while my (momentarily) polite 7 year old and the kind librarian checked out my books FOR me and then brought them TO me (since I looked stressed, she claims....I don't suppose it had ANYthing to do with the whiney 3 year old who wanted to play instead of ride in the stroller OR the crying-very-loudly baby who only wanted to be held...nope, it was because I looked stressed; wonder why?).

Blogger Sara said...
munchkinisms. that kid is beyond creative. cheese stick. that's a killer. i would have died.
has anyone told you he looks exactly like you lately, cause he does.

Blogger lawyerchik said...
What a riot!! :) You should rent them out to people who need a laugh! (Maybe the "toilet flush" and "crack-o-tick" are Hatchling's attempts to say things the chiropracter says when he makes adjustments? "Crack-o-tick" sounds a little like chiropractic..... Just guessing.)

Hope you feel better soon!!

Blogger Katrina said...
I am laughing SO hard about the tampon! Hilarious kid!

Blogger jenro said...
cheese stick = tampon comment --had that one, too, but in the privacy of my own bathroom --nice that you had an audience ... I would have turned a beautiful shade of magenta ... lol