According to it's not news, it's CNN, our finely feathered elected statesmen and women are poised to get down to pressing governmental problems today, such as (shaking my magic eight ball) apologizing for slavery and Jim Crow.

Now, according to my research, and keeping in mind that my math skills are abysmal, let's take a look at what Congress is costing the American taxpayers.

The Legislative Branch Appropriations Bill for Financial Year 2008 was 3.1 billion dollars by the time it passed. Now, extrapolated (I feel super smart when I work "extrapolate" into my conversation, though I'm never sure I actually used it correctly...) over 366 days for a leap year, that works out to almost 8.5 million dollars for a day of work. Of course, we all know Congress works much less than 366 days in a year, making our bill for this sweet, but fiscally irresponsible, resolution, much, much higher. Is it any wonder that we have a deficit of, I don't know, a gazillion dollars? That's right folks, a gazillion. Closing in fast on a gazillion million.

Sure, I'm sorry about slavery. However, if I was an African-American, I'd be more sorry about losing over 8 million dollars in one day for a pansy apology that at best gives somebody warm fuzzies, and at worst keeps dollars out of the hands of people who needed it in the form of food or health care. And if I was "Rep. Steve Cohen, a white lawmaker who represents a majority black district in Memphis, Tennessee," that's exactly what I would tell my constituents. And that's why I will never ever be elected to anything. Well, that and the fact that I would rather throw myself off of a bridge than give a public speech.

Right, putting away the soapbox now.