We felt we should contact you in regards to your recent behaviour, i.e., purchasing your wife a book entitled It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff
, and then flying off to Florida and leaving her alone for eight days.
Apparently, she thinks her life would be richer without your
stuff. Yeah, big mistake, buddy. We can't believe you didn't see that one coming. The good news is she hasn't thrown your clothes out yet. Of course, we understand tomorrow is trash day in your neighborhood. Good luck with that.
Sincerely, and with great regret at your obvious lack of sense,
United We Stand Men's Club of America
(also known as The Association of No! I Might Need That Some Day!
and But I Paid Good Money For That And I'm Not Throwing It Out , Inc.)