August 8, 2008
I Am An Afficianodo Of Few Things
But one thing I do know, is Coke. Sweet, delicious and refreshing Coca Cola. Ahhh... frankly there are few pleasures in life which I would put above a nice cold Coke, fresh from the fridge. And the sound of a can being opened or a bottle top being pried off- it must be one of the sweetest sounds on this planet. We should broadcast it to outer space. The aliens would come, and they would come in peace.

It's a sickness, all right? I blame my mother, who let me drink as much as I wanted as a child. And also, I like to blame her for all sorts of things. That is what mothers are for, yes? (just kidding Mom!)

On a recent trip to Sam's (and solidifying it as one of the happiest places on Earth, in my opinion), I happened upon a large stack of Coke, in glass bottles. Upon closer inspection, I and saw this:

I don't know if you can read it, but it says "hecho en Mexico". Oh come on! Even with my abysmal Spanish, I know what that means! And what it means on a Coca Cola is much nearer and dearer to my little heart.

Coke, a history, SlushStyle: You see, sometime around when that bastard child of the Coca Cola Company, New Coke, came out, U.S. bottlers started using cheaper (and much more evil) high fructose corn syrup to sweeten their Coke. Mexican bottlers still rely on cane sugar to make their beverages oh so good. And oh, how I love Mexican Coke. When we go on our mission trips to Mexico, the local pastor's wife always makes sure to bring me a big bottle of Coke, which I happily devour. Can you devour a drink? I think I can.

But back to Sam's. After I nearly swooned in the aisle, el heffe (that's L. Oh, and I have no idea if I am spelling it correctly. Again, the Spanish is abysmal...) broke down and bought me a case. It's not cheap, my friends. I'm sure the cost of transporting glass bottles all the way from down south of the border is not cheap. It was $17.88 for 24 of those babies. What's that come out to? 75 cents a bottle or so? (ok, who is this who suddenly does all these mathematical equations on my blog, albeit simple ones aided by a calculator?) Anyway, 75 cents for a little taste of heaven. I'd pay twice as much. L wouldn't though, so it's a good thing they aren't any more expensive than they are. Sadly, I have slurped my way through the entire case. In my defense, I shared about half of them. So really I was cheated, and L should buy me more. Tonight. That's all I'm sayin'.

I have a feeling that my mansion in the sky will have a Coke fountain in it, which flows with good ol' Mexican Coke. Or so I hope. I've never been so happy for the high latino population in my area.

Do you guys remember my haiku to Coke?

Aluminum can
Packed, 39 sugar grams
Nectar, Love, Cruelty

I guess I need to write a haiku to Mexican Coke now. Alas, I will certainly need a bottle in my hand before the creative juices will be flowing.

Blogger AfricaBleu said...
Come up to my neck of the woods and eat at La Hacienda. I ALWAYS order "Mexican coke" and they bring a HUGE bottle of it. I scorn the glass of ice and drink it, African style, with a straw. It's really the only way to go.

Blogger BlessedUtopia said...
I love that poem...muy bien cuz. Man that post made me partched...i wanna!!

Blogger PBandJ said...
Oh YES!!! I don't even like soda and I love Mexican Coke! Looks like I'll be taking a trip to Sam's!

Blogger TNKerry said...
Hilarious!! I am a huge Diet Coke fan and am trying hard to break my habit. Don't like Coke so much, but will have to give Mexican Coke a try. A trip to Sam's is in my future.