May 28, 2009
A Big Bag O' Crazy... In Two Parts
Part One:

Do you know that I have an obsession with luggage? It's true. I like to look at it, shop for it, buy it, cajole L into letting me buy more, and browse for it on the internet. I may even get emails whenever a certain company releases new models of luggage. And don't even get me started on T.J. Max and their intoxicating selection. I have a problem, okay? With unlimited funds, I would doubtless be the Imelda Marcos of luggage. Maybe it has to do with my packing dysfunctionality.

For several years now, I've been jonesing for some Briggs and Riley luggage. Oh, sweet mother of all packing receptacles. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I used to drag L to the mall just so we could go the travel store and I could handle the goods. Gracious, that is some nice luggage.

The boys and I went to the WalMart associates store today, which is where they sell stuff that is cosmetically lacking or a little broken or a sample from a vendor, etc, and you have to be an associate or associate's spouse to get in. L can never, ever quit working the occasional Saturday for the man. I couldn't face the loss of my discount card or the special WalMart store, as Hatchling calls it. As soon as I walked in, I was smack-dab in front of a huge display of used laptop bags for $10 each. Exciting, no? But I'm tactile in the worst way, so of course I ran my hand over the (dirty, broken and sad) bags, and then plucked one from the pile. Then I saw the words I dream about blazened on the front: Briggs and Riley. I nearly keeled over from the happiness right then and there. I handed the boys the entire jumbo package of orange Tic Tacs which I had been slowly doling out, and let them go to town.

Oh sweet heaven, was it new? I thought it was. The only problem I could find was that it was missing a carrying strap, and look, there were thirty million other bags from which I could parse one of those. Can I use parse in that sense? I going to anyway, so get over it. I dilligently looked through the ginormous pile for another Briggs and Riley, but alas, there was only a sea of decrepit Dell and Samsung and Sucksonite bags. I finally settled on a strap from one (with a gelly comfort thingy for my shoulder), and then I clipped it to my new laptop bag and was on my merry way. I did ask a worker if this was OK, and she looked at me like I was insane and told me to do whatever I wanted. Apparently, I was the first person to get giddy over used laptop bags today.

I brought it home, and to my delight, it actually fits my laptop (no, it actually never occured to me to wonder this at the store, not for one little second). Wonder of wonders! I did discover a wee bit of wear on the inside, so I know it was used, but it is nothing I wouldn't have done in one trip anyway. L immediatly suggested I try and sell it on ebay, to which I haughtily responded that it was the only piece of Briggs and Riley which I own, and I will not be parting with it lightly or anytime soon. So there.

And no, I don't particularly need a laptop bag. I mean, I'm a stay at home mom. When we travel, the laptop goes in the computer backpack with all of our other crap. I have no need to tote Penelope around town with me. She likes it just fine sitting on the ottoman of my monkey chair. Regardless, I have a rocking laptop bag, and I'm feeling pretty happy about it. Here it is on ebags, in case you are unfamiliar with the lovelieness that is Briggs and Riley. Look at your own risk. Someday, L is going to buy me a complete set in red. He just doesn't know it yet.

Part Two:

I am taking the boys to a skating party this Saturday. This will be their first foray into the wonders of skating limbo, the free skate, and the skating hokey pokey. Enter the crazy. We have some little Fisher Price skates that snap on over their shoes which we use on the sidewalk outside. When we go out, I have no problem making them suit up in pads and helmets. Since Hatchling is blessed with the grace and athletic ability of his mother, he needs them. Oh, how the poor little guy needs them. Pillows strapped to his bottom would also not be out of line.

So- do I make them wear helmets at the skating rink? Do people do this? I don't want my kids to be social outcasts (and I mean, come on, we're homeschooling, so we're probably walking the line already), but I don't want to come home with traumatic brain injuries, either. I haven't been to the skating rink in years- is there any chance other crazy people make thier kids wear helmets when they skate? Anyone? Yeah, I didn't think so. L says to do it, but he's not going to be there to take the heat for the weird kids, either. I have asked H2's opinion, but all I got was 'choo choo.. num num.. milk... choo choo.'

Well said, my little friend. Well said.

A Hatchling Story, to round things out:

I took the boys to the park last week, to meet up with our homeschool group. You know, so they can get socialized and my Mom won't worry so much. Anyway, no one from our group was there that day, but there were three little boys and their mother. They were 10, 8 and 7. Hatchling immediately started bossing them around, and they actually went along with it pretty well. Then I heard him announce, "Ok, everyone up in the clubhouse. We're going to play school and I'm your teacher. You may call me Mr. Hatchling. And you must raise your hands if you have a question while I am teaching you." He waited while they took their seats at his feet. The younger ones looked uncomfortably to their big brother, who finally piped up and said, "We don't want to play school! We got out today because we had to go to the dentist! No school for us!!!"

Hatchling was taken aback. Who were these strange creatures who did not want to play school? He looked pensive, then asked, "You don't like school? Really?"
Kids: NO!
Hatchling: Is your mommy your teacher?
Kids: Ummm... no...
Hatchling, looking like he has solved the world's problems: That's probably why. If your mommy was your teacher, you would know how fun school is.
Kids look at me doubtfully. End scene.
Blogger lawyerchik said...
Very cute!! I hope this will not cause you to faint or anything, but I seriously had never heard of Briggs and Riley luggage before your post. Really.

And I loved the Hatchling story at the end!! ;) Hatchling has a tremendous career ahead of him - I just know it!! He got his peers to do stuff before they knew what it was that he wanted them to do!!